It’s easy to fall in love with someone from a distance, you get to see all the little things. the way they smile at a bad joke or how they drum their fingers when they’re bored.
  It’s easy to fall in love with someone you thought you could never fall in love with. you’re able to open them up when their heart is elsewhere and see how it beats. you’re able to find your place.
  It was easy for me to fall in love with you. I got to stand by and watch you turn into someone I could know by heart, that I was mesmerized by. I got to become enthralled with the world again, but by your side this time.





(Source: tallichet)

(Source: made-alive-in-christ)


I have a feeling I’ll never be one of those girls with regular dates and boy to hold hands with.
I have a feeling that I’m one of those girls that instead of saying, “I miss you.” I’ll say “I need some time alone with the stars.”
but the thing is, I’m not scared of being alone. there’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. the difference is happiness.
you can be alone and happy, but loneliness and happiness are hardly seen together.
and I, am happy.


   Your body became my home, I could get lost in the echo off your hardwood floors and the drips of your broken kitchen sink. Even with my eyes closed I could trace every last crack in the wall, even the ones that you tried to plaster over.
  Your hands were my foundation, they could guide me through even the darkest rooms. They gave me balance and taught me that even callused things can hold you up. When I told you I was closing my eyes on winter night drives your heart became my ambulance. You put everything you felt into vitals pumped directly through my veins you gave me the life my body was aching to feel.
   I could ride for miles on your frail aluminum stretcher just to feel warmth in my hands again.
  Riddle me with needle pricks and IVs, because it’s nothing compared to the hole I feel when you’re gone.


    You called me toxic, but he, he calls me honey. He begs me to slide myself down his throat so that the words he speaks can someday, be just as sweet as me. To you I tasted like dandelions, leaving every inch of your mouth bitter, my name only intensifying your distaste. He plants me gardens, roses, daises and lilies, that spell out “I love your smile.” 
    One of the first things you told me was that you hated music but he calls me a symphony. Maybe, that’s why we didn’t last more than 67 days, I was playing you songs and humming you tunes but you were only blocking it out. 
  I am not meant to be someones brick wall, I am meant to be someones painted canvas, full and alive.

To you I was only a string of chemicals that slowly began to eat away at everything you felt like you needed to live for. To him I am a foundation for something beautiful. 


 You left a gap in my chest, and with him it felt full again.
  I’m starting to think that it was just his hands digging around looking for something of substance. When he came out empty handed he pulled me apart, looking for love behind my sweet tooth and under my 
tongue, struggling to find desire on the soles of my feet. 
  Trying to find purpose between my thighs but only leaving me emptier than before, leaving me yearning for him but only finding all the other skeletons he had hid me among in the depths of his closet.
  When will someone want me for more than how far they can get under my skin, or how long they get to remain on it? I want someone to peel back every layer of my flesh and love me for the way my blood flows and my muscles grow, not for how hard I kiss them, or where i touch them. 
  Letting so many people pull you apart and unravel your seams, will only leave you with more gaps and no way to fill them back up again.


   Day 1: Its started to burn a little, like a scab ripped off a little too soon. You were ripped away too soon. 

  Day 15: I don’t give a shit about you, i hate your stupid face and the things you ruined for me, i hate the year you took away and the parts of me you took with you when you packed your bag and left without locking the door.

  Day 28: I didn’t mean all those terrible things i said, you’re still the only one i want to call baby at night and the only one whose eggs i want to burn when i try to make you breakfast in bed. you re the only one you’re the only one you’re the only one. 

  Day 40: A man on the train smiled and called me pretty today, his eyes were the same color of yours so i told him to go fuck himself. You left every inch of my mouth bitter with missing you. 

  Day 54: I bought new bed sheets yesterday, the old ones had too many crumbs of our love stuck in the folds.

  Day 71: I have come to terms that you’re never going to come back, and that’s okay now, everything ends, in heartbreak or death. it ends. our love had died long ago, but its finally time to bury it along with all the demons it brought me.

  Day 102: He whispered how enthralled he was with me into my rib cage and left love under my skin in the shape of roses, but i still look for you in every single one of his vowels and consonants. I cant help but kiss him back when he says his R’s just like you do.

 Day 122: I’m sorry I ever thought I could be over you.

Thunder Storm

There’s something so beautiful about loving someone you know is going to hurt you. Like standing out in a thunder storm and daring the lighting not to strike you, nor the thunder to shake you. 
  I want you to shake me, like the wind bends saplings down to touch tainted soil I beg you to bend my body to your will, show my muscles new ways to strain and stretch over hurricane hardened bone. Blow me back, snap my limbs and shake my leaves. 
  Teach me what it’s like to love a storm, put my heart into snow and freeze me out. I am a boulder for you to weather, down to pebbles and sand, until all that’s left is a beach for you to walk on. 
  I want to prove to you, that your love, your storm, is something I can weather.


  One day, you’ll meet a boy with a heart like a forest. Rivers flowing from capillary to capillary, valleys and meadows hidden in sinew and muscle. He’ll let you in to explore among the redwoods and oaks,  to find the tree standing tall and hidden in the forest behind the left semi-lunar valve, with initials of past explorers scarred into its loving trunk and preserved in amber blood. 
  You’ll be able to wander into the most tangled veins, spiked with brambles that guard the garden made for his mother, filled with the same strain of lilies that the preacher placed over her hard pine home before she entered a new world. Decorated with all the plants she taught him to buy for the love of his life so she’d know he was the one, only the fragrance of love here. 
  Travel towards the fast paced river that protects the new saplings and sprouts, planted by the feeling he gets when he looks into your eyes. Each one marked with a date that it was born, a tag to remember when he started to fall in love. 

One day you’ll meet a boy with a heart like a forest, and you’ll start a wildfire.